Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
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