If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
Jon just got arrested by the quesadilla police
What?!?
What I actually meant, is I had a quesadilla, and Jon got arrested by the real police
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Randomize