I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
Alive.
So much puke
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
Randomize
