So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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