there's paper in my vomit.
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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