We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
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i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
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Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
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