My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Randomize
