that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
my shit smells like andre
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
I think my nap took me to another dimension
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
Randomize
