The bartender told me the best pick-up line was to look deep into her eyes and tell her your gonna flick her vagina
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
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