"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
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