Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
I never want to see another naked old woman again.
Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
Randomize
