rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
Randomize
