Dude my date hates me, Im on a rooftop full of Turkish people, and Ricky Martin is blasting on the radio. I was wrong earlier when I said I have my shit together
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
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