I smell stomach acid.
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
Randomize
