how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
Randomize
