would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize