I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
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