Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
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