I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
Randomize
