Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
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