Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
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