If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
Panties = found
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
Randomize
