Christians are straight up FREAKS
trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
its not stalking. its research.
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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