yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
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