would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
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