I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
Randomize
