i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
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