whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
