So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
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