ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
You dont lie about slip and slides
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
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