____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
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