It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize
