Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
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