I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
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