I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
Randomize
