Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
I think my vagina is haunted
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
Randomize
