yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
I TAUGHT HER CAT TO SIT. CATS DON'T FUCKING SIT ON COMMAND. BUT THIS ONE DID!
It's basically my crowning achievement.
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
Randomize
