Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
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