The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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