What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
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