I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
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