he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
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