Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
Randomize
