I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
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