Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
Randomize
