We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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