spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
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