So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
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