so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
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