i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
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I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
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I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
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