I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
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