I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
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