You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
My dad just drunkly made a toast in front of my entire extended family "to my daughter the recent and sucessful college and to my son the drunken whore-monger"
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
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