I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
Randomize
