hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
Randomize
