didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
she looked like the before picture.
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
Princesses don't give blow jobs
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
If I make it through this whole bridesmaid process without anyone knowing that I actually hate everyone but the bride, including the groom, I deserve a complimentary bottle of vodka.
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
Randomize
