Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
Randomize
