ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
You filled up my voicemail with a slurred but graphic depiction of how you were humping a fire hydrant.
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
is that a dick in a sweater?
COCAINE IS GR8
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
