Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
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